A woman must want sex. Otherwise there’s something wrong with her
In 2004, Canadian scientist Anthony Bogart published a paper entitled “Asexuality: Prevalence and Associated Factors. Data from a random sample of the country.” It says that among British adults, asexuals (people who do not experience attraction) make up approximately 1% of the population, with 70% of them being women. Bogart also suggests that asexuality may be as common as homosexuality. But that doesn’t apply https://lovesper.com/escorts/canada/toronto-escorts.
In Russia, no research has been conducted on this topic: in November 2017, the women’s publication Wonderzine talked about how asexuals live in our country and mentioned that reluctance to have sex can be dictated by depression, post-traumatic disorder and other mental difficulties.
Asexuals have normal hormonal levels and are generally mentally healthy. “Simply put, their main difference is that a person who has health problems suffers from the inability to have sex, while asexuals do not,” writes the author of the article, Natasha Fedorenko.
Formally, asexuality is still considered a deviation, and more specifically, a hypoactive sexual desire disorder. But, for example, in 2014, CNN released material suggesting that asexuality is an orientation, with its own spectrum and variability, and not a disorder.
Give yourself permission not to want
The first thing to realize is that our sexuality is not static. It changes depending on age, life circumstances, and in women, libido is also highly dependent on stress.
Regardless of your gender, try answering a few questions.
Was my desire always like this?
An alarming symptom is a sharp drop or increase in libido. This may indicate serious hormonal changes, for example. But if your desire has always been small and nothing has changed, then there is definitely no reason to worry.
How do I feel about this?
Anxiety, doubt, fear that your partner will leave? Or am I calm? Are these my emotions, or do I accept and transform what other people broadcast? Emily Nagoski calls this analysis emotional coaching – you train yourself to have non-judgmental emotions.
Wonderzine has devoted several articles to the external pressure that asexuals and people with low desire for sex feel. This very myth that if you don’t want sex, then something is wrong with you is another element in the neurotic picture of the Russian person’s relationship with sexuality.
In your sexuality, only your own feelings and thoughts have value. “The most important thing you can do to have an amazing sex life is to accept your sexuality as it is right now, even if it’s not what you expect it to be,” says Emily Nagoski, author of As You Want woman”.
